i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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