It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We named our party play list daddy issues
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
