Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
