Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
