Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
