if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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