whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
