I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize