what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
