He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
this is an emotional support booty call
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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