I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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