I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
