Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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