so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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