3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I wish i was in the wii world.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize