apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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