no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
NoShamevember. You game?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
