He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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