So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
