I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
