I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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