idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
