It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
no, he came in my armpit
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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