Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
