You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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