My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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