Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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