He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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