lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
