i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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