I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
