she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
