that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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