No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize