fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
