On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
