I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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