And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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