The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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