HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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