im about as happy as oj after his trial
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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