either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
