Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
