you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
