Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am one with the molecules
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
