how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize