So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
