The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
