i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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