i need an iv and a liver transplant
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
