I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize