Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
please come you make the beer taste better
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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