well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
