Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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