He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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