I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
