Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
