I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
