yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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