Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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