it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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