East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
