so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
